Dealing with human waste coffee

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So i don't know why but no matter how much grounds I add to my old coffee maker (and using the good stuff) it just tastes like pisswater. So I got one of these.
dv
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Okay so seriously you're just trolling now.
Well I ordered it on Amazon and it comes in next week. I've been eyeing a moka pot for a while but living at Okotoks they won't ship to that rural address. I've gotten used to some pretty strong coffee, but my coffee maker is a year or two old and doesn't seem to really get the same flavor (or any flavor aside from a tinge of acid) that it used to pull from those grounds, no matter what kind of filters I try.
juice Inadvertently correct
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dv posted:
Okay so seriously you're just trolling now.

"now"?
I don't get what's so unbelievable about wanting a strong cup of coffee?
Lombo Opiofiend
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French press is where it’s at if you want strong but flavourful coffee.
dv
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Betonhaus posted:
I don't get what's so unbelievable about wanting a strong cup of coffee?


We have, seriously, had multiple, very, very long threads about this.

The one thing we all seem to agree on (except for vulture) is that a moka pot is just about the worst way to make coffee.

You coffee choice is also questionable. The only people I know IRL who actually like the "Tacticool" varieties of Super Strong Manly Coffee are heavy smokers. (I assume the super-gross taste actually cuts through and makes them taste something.)

Pre-ground coffee is basically spoiled by the time it gets to you. Whatever you get, grind it yourself.

Stale coffee would account for the "nothing but acid" taste you're getting. So would a dirty coffee maker. (Clean it with CLR.)
dv posted:
Betonhaus posted:
I don't get what's so unbelievable about wanting a strong cup of coffee?


We have, seriously, had multiple, very, very long threads about this.

The one thing we all seem to agree on (except for vulture) is that a moka pot is just about the worst way to make coffee.

You coffee choice is also questionable. The only people I know IRL who actually like the "Tacticool" varieties of Super Strong Manly Coffee are heavy smokers. (I assume the super-gross taste actually cuts through and makes them taste something.)

Pre-ground coffee is basically spoiled by the time it gets to you. Whatever you get, grind it yourself.

Stale coffee would account for the "nothing but acid" taste you're getting. So would a dirty coffee maker. (Clean it with CLR.)

the search function makes it painful trying to extract the relevant bits from the old threads, but what kind of brewer do you recommend? a coffee grinder may be too much of a sound nuisance for my current place, but i can check into that when this bag runs out.

...all I'm seeing is arguing, so I'll just get a percolator as idgaf as long as it's strong, and I might forget to check the moka pot.
Séamas Honorary Consul General
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I spent quite a long time not being satisfied by my coffee until I realized that I just don't much care for dark roasts at all.
Also found drip coffee unsatisfactory, and that the sooner it is brewed after grinding the more I like it.

So my current setup :
I buy whole beans. Not particular on specifics, but it must be medium blend-I find the flavor richer, where the dark roasts are thin and burnt.

Burr grinder. Grind my own. Brew coffee within 1 day of grinding.

French press.

I don't use a thermometer on the water, but I bring a kettle to a boil. Let it sit a few minutes, pour into a measuring cup and then into the press. This way I suspect i have brought the temps a good 10-15 degrees below boiling.


I have to say I have been MUCH satisfied by the coffee I have been making since I set up this way.
dv
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Betonhaus posted:
dv posted:
Betonhaus posted:
I don't get what's so unbelievable about wanting a strong cup of coffee?


We have, seriously, had multiple, very, very long threads about this.

The one thing we all seem to agree on (except for vulture) is that a moka pot is just about the worst way to make coffee.

You coffee choice is also questionable. The only people I know IRL who actually like the "Tacticool" varieties of Super Strong Manly Coffee are heavy smokers. (I assume the super-gross taste actually cuts through and makes them taste something.)

Pre-ground coffee is basically spoiled by the time it gets to you. Whatever you get, grind it yourself.

Stale coffee would account for the "nothing but acid" taste you're getting. So would a dirty coffee maker. (Clean it with CLR.)

the search function makes it painful trying to extract the relevant bits from the old threads, but what kind of brewer do you recommend? a coffee grinder may be too much of a sound nuisance for my current place, but i can check into that when this bag runs out.

...all I'm seeing is arguing, so I'll just get a percolator as idgaf as long as it's strong, and I might forget to check the moka pot.


I retract previous. Percolators are worse.

You know caffeine pills are a thing, right?
Malkin kick 'em in the face; taste the body
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I switched to instant coffee at work. I shovel two heaping spoonsful of a dark roast into a small mug with cold water and add just enough boiling water to bring it up to over room temperature.

I'm sure most coffee lovers would hate me.

It's cheap. It's easy. It has caffeine. I really don't mind it.
We have an electric kettle, a French press is only 25 bucks at the London drugs near my house. Making a fresh pot now.
juice Inadvertently correct
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I tried instant coffee once. Abomination. Not worthy of being called coffee.
DukeofNuke FREE RADICAL
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Oh, I don't know. I used to drink those tea-bag style coffees pretty often. They're kind of a blend of instant and ground, and if you let them steep a couple of minutes they are semi-drinkable.
Betonhaus, try espresso.
Séamas Honorary Consul General
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I knew instant coffee was a thing, but never really encountered it until visiting Ireland in the early '90s.

It was almost everywhere. Only rarely would you see actual brewed coffee.
Ten years later visiting England I would see quite a bit of it as well, but by then Starbucks had gotten a foothold.

The people of the British Isles love to poke fun at how (many) Americans prepare tea, but their coffee was far, far worse.
DukeofNuke posted:
Oh, I don't know. I used to drink those tea-bag style coffees pretty often. They're kind of a blend of instant and ground, and if you let them steep a couple of minutes they are semi-drinkable.
Betonhaus, try espresso.

The moka pot that he ordered is, without having an espresso machine, an easy way to make espresso. With the right grind, a moka makes passable espresso. I did it that way until I discovered exactly how much it was affecting my anxiety levels. Then we bought an induction cooktop and I never replaced the aluminum Moka with a stainless steel one.
I cancelled the moka pot order for now. I'll try the press for now, but I'm using a dumb kettle and preground to medium coffee so I have to practice the timing.
ukimalefu last throes
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Warin posted:
DukeofNuke posted:
Oh, I don't know. I used to drink those tea-bag style coffees pretty often. They're kind of a blend of instant and ground, and if you let them steep a couple of minutes they are semi-drinkable.
Betonhaus, try espresso.

The moka pot that he ordered is, without having an espresso machine, an easy way to make espresso. With the right grind, a moka makes passable espresso. I did it that way until I discovered exactly how much it was affecting my anxiety levels. Then we bought an induction cooktop and I never replaced the aluminum Moka with a stainless steel one.


The moka pot also requires using it right. You set a medium/medium high heat, say, no more than 65%, or you'll burn the coffee. Also, when you hear the gurgling sound, it means the coffee is done, so take it off the heat, or you'll burn the coffee.

Malkin posted:
I switched to instant coffee at work. I shovel two heaping spoonsful of a dark roast into a small mug with cold water and add just enough boiling water to bring it up to over room temperature.

I'm sure most coffee lovers would hate me.

It's cheap. It's easy. It has caffeine. I really don't mind it.


Meh, I've had good instant and bad instant coffee.
jkahless Custom Title
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I'd strongly recommend changing your coffee. Go to a cafe in town run by coffee nerds that does tastings, taste a bunch and find out what you like. Ask the wonderful nerd what you should look for to buy similar tasting coffee in the future, and buy a bag or two of coffee from them.

A new coffeemaker also makes sense, though I'd rather use a French press than a moka pot. Easier, faster, better coffee. But go to a good cafe or roaster, and talk to a human being, and smell and taste some coffee.
Pithecanthropus Roast Master
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dv posted:
The one thing we all seem to agree on (except for vulture) is that a moka pot is just about the worst way to make coffee.


Not this coffee expert. Percolating is the worst way to make coffee.
ukimalefu last throes
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what about a cloth filter?

Image

Last edited by ukimalefu on Wed Mar 11, 2020 3:43 pm.

ukimalefu last throes
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Pithecanthropus posted:
dv posted:
The one thing we all seem to agree on (except for vulture) is that a moka pot is just about the worst way to make coffee.


Not this coffee expert. Percolating is the worst way to make coffee.


and a moka pot is not a percolator, some people call moka pots percolators, but they're not

moka pot

Image

percolator

Image
Séamas Honorary Consul General
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As for the topic, isn't literal "human waste coffee" some of the most expensive coffee in the world?
Robert B. Dandy Highwayman
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Percolating is the best.
juice Inadvertently correct
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Robert B. posted:
Percolating is the best.

Because it reminds me of my grandpa.
Pithecanthropus Roast Master
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Séamas posted:
As for the topic, isn't literal "human waste coffee" some of the most expensive coffee in the world?

Kopi luwak. It's seriously over rated. And here's the kicker, they used to get it by foraging for beans that had been eaten by a civet cat, and then pooped out. The beans were cleaned, and roasted, and then fools in New York City bought it for $100 a cup. Now they capture and cage civet cats, and force feed them coffee beans. fiddlesticks that.
juice Inadvertently correct
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I want to slap the human waste out of anyone involved in that coffee. And then brew a coffee with the human waste and force feed it to them.
Séamas Honorary Consul General
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Pithecanthropus posted:
and then fools in New York City

Probably out-of towners.
mmaverick my steady systematic decline
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/me really likes moka pot coffee.
Pariah Know Your Enemy
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Robert B. posted:
Percolating is the best.

Its the only way you can make traditional Swedish egg coffee.
ukimalefu last throes
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what about cold brew with nitrogen in a can?

https://www.chewboom.com/2020/03/01/sta ... y-the-can/

I never had any cold coffee... unless you count coffee flavored ice cream (I don't know if it there was any actual coffee in it).
Vulture 420
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I got lazy and bought some Taster's Choice, now my coffee is done as soon as I put a spoon into boiling hot water. Real brewed coffee feels so fancy and unnecessary now. I've gone through two "105 servings" containers already and am about to get another one. It got me thinking, one day Starbucks will decide to make instant coffee when they decide they need even more money, but right about now they probably are in a position where they don't need any more money.

I'm drinking science coffee, and I use a science oven to warm my food.

Last edited by Vulture on Fri Mar 13, 2020 5:24 pm.

Vulture 420
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Pithecanthropus posted:
dv posted:
The one thing we all seem to agree on (except for vulture) is that a moka pot is just about the worst way to make coffee.


Not this coffee expert. Percolating is the worst way to make coffee.

I think you misread what I wrote about moka pots, they are horrible, and they are mistaken for espresso by people who don't know anything about coffee. I would never buy or use one. An electric percolator, however, is really good, which almost nobody agrees upon because "science".
Robert B. Dandy Highwayman
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Vulture posted:
...one day Starbucks will decide to make instant coffee when they decide they need even more money...


Have you heard about Starbucks Via?
C. Ives Lacks Critical stick fiddling Thinking
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gd Hero of Twilight
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Despite using a french press, unless you have had coffee from fresh puertorican beans, ground minutes before brewing, your coffee experience is lacking.

My aunt came over from Indiana and brought over some fancy roast of coffee beans she usually buys over there, used a french press and served it to me in the morning. It was the most watered down, bland tasting coffee I have ever had.

Also, ask any puertorican (that lives on the island) what they think of coffee they have when they go to the mainland USA and surely they will say that the coffee in the states is always nowhere near as strong as the coffee you get on the island.
Pithecanthropus Roast Master
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gd posted:
Despite using a french press, unless you have had coffee from fresh puertorican beans, ground minutes before brewing, your coffee experience is lacking.


Any fresh roasted, freshly ground coffee will give you that experience. Puerto Rican beans are great, but I wouldn’t put them head and shoulders above all other coffees. Personally, I’d take a Tanzanian Peaberry over any other coffee around.
Vulture 420
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Robert B. posted:
Vulture posted:
...one day Starbucks will decide to make instant coffee when they decide they need even more money...


Have you heard about Starbucks Via?

:lol: I just Googled it! Amazing, they make instant coffee now! If it wasn't 6 times the price of Taster's Choice, I'd be all over it.
jkahless Custom Title
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I've gone to drinking instant at home. I need the caffiene more than volatiles.
Pariah Know Your Enemy
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I brew at home because instant coffee only saves, maybe, a minute over drip brewing and the advantage in speed decreases rapidly into the negatives when multiple cups are involved.
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Dealing with human waste coffee

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