I'm a fine, upstanding person, apparently.

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So I'm about to play a match of oddball, right? And it loads up the six people and it loads up the map Guardian and the gametype of Oddball. Next thing I know I've got this whirring noise coming out of my speakers, and I realize that it's not my XBox catching on fire, it's just this guy named "petergriffin898" giving us some helpful tips and advice on how to play Oddball.

"I HOPE YOU stick fiddling fine, upstanding people KNOW HOW TO PLAY stick fiddling GODDAMN ODDBALL. GODDAMN. YOU DON'T stick fiddling SHOOT EACH OTHER UNLESS SOMEONE HAS THE BALL. human waste."

And then some other guy goes:


And so the match starts and with a shrug of my shoulders, I figure I'll play along with this convoluted perversion of the rules and halfway through the match, because I keep getting weakened and then knocked out by the guy holding the ball, I'm in last place. Considering I just got my 44 and didn't want to have to play another dozen matches to re-earn it, I say "well this simply won't do", and stand at the back, picking guys off before they approach the ball carrier, and then wipe out the ball carrier himself, swooping to grab the ball and holding it for about 30 seconds, which in the end netted me a 3rd place victory.

So in the postgame lobby I've got petergriffin898 again spewing on the other side saying "THAT RtG WHATEVER fine, upstanding person IS GETTING A BAD REVIEW FROM ME THE REST OF YA'LL I'M GIVIN A PREFERRED RATING. stick fiddling fine, upstanding person RUINS A GAME WITH THAT human waste. stick fiddling uncouth woman."

So there's the summary. Here's my response.

Look, dude, just because you name yourself after a blubbering, retarded cartoon character doesn't mean it gives you the license to act like one. Although if you, like your namesake, are also fatheaded and retarded, then it's easy to fathom how you can confuse Juggernaut with Oddball.

See, the guy with the Oddball? No powers. He's just the guy with the ball who can't shoot but can be shot at. And so, by your logic, this lone person has to take on five people at once? Or in direct succession? Your score reflects that you couldn't even handle that.

Now check out Juggernaut, you've got a guy with triple the health, sometimes a special weapon, and it switches stuff up like in a team-based match. In other words, you shoot the Juggernaut or someone about to become it, or no one at all. Because if you do kill someone else, you get negative points.

Now, I know your brain can't process these two things at once and just put the rest of the information together, petergriffin898, so I'll make it easy for you:

Juggernaut = Penalty for killing other people, "The Chosen" is harder to kill

Oddball = No penalty for killing other people, "The Chosen" is easier to kill

When there's a cluster of three or four people moshing, doing absolutely nothing but knocking each other the human waste out, I'm going to stand off at a distance and pluck you off. It's kind of called THE POINT OF THE GAME. But since all you probably play is Slayer, you wouldn't know that because any amount of strategy in an objective-based game is far too much for you to comprehend since all you're capable of doing is moving a stick and pushing a button at anything that moves.

If Bungie didn't want people in Oddball to kill everyone else around them, there'd be a penalty for killing them. Like in Juggernaut. They don't care, so there isn't. It's been like this since Marathon. But since the only other games in your 360 list are NASCAR '08, MADDEN '08 and some WWF Wrestling human waste, you obviously wouldn't know anything about how it's been played for years before you showed up on the scene, would you?

It's always been this way, it's going to continue to be this way, so you need to just shape up and learn how to kill something without relying on the stick fiddling rocket launcher, you douchehat.

Also, don't call me fine, upstanding person, crackerjack. You sound stick fiddling ridiculous.

Hugs and kisses,

RtG feeduc-phidouc-fyde-ucks-whatever-the-fuck-his-name-is
Zapski Gaze into my eyes...
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I have no idea what you're talking about, but every time you post about XBox Live, the less I want one.

Keep up the good work! You're saving me money! ;)
Originally called "Kill the man with the Ball", from Marathon. You DO shoot everything, because it's fun, and less people remain trying to get the ball.
Yes, Marathon is like the Beatles/Jesus of gaming. Marathon even invented Pong in the future!
Zapski wrote:
I have no idea what you're talking about, but every time you post about XBox Live, the less I want one.

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Shnicky-Poo wrote:
Zapski wrote:
I have no idea what you're talking about, but every time you post about XBox Live, the less I want one.

This is why I've stopped playing H3 online. About the only time I do play is when my son and I do some Big Team action, but even then I mute everyone so we dont have to deal with the r-tards that seem to populate the Halo universe.

Not that CoD4 is any better... but at least I found a good group of guys to play with.
The only fps that I've been completely, 100% satisfied with the community is the Team Fortress 2 one. I think it might have something to do with we were all tweenagers when the first one came out, and so the only people that remember the first one are a decade older than when they were stick fiddling morons.

UT3 for PS3 is a generally silent experience, and I'm really fearing what LIVEtards will do to the atmosphere.

GoW2 can't come soon enough so all the attention whore racists and bigots can go play on that instead of t3h haloz.
I should probably cancel my xboxlive subscription sometime soon. I dont play halo online anymore since apparently everyone who is at my rating/skill level is a good ninja...on speed.

I dont even think I have a game for my 360 that I want to play online now even with GTA4, orange box and GoW
Pithecanthropus Roast Master
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You expect intelligent discourse on Xbox Live? You've been playing for how long? All you get there is idiots who find it amusing to cuss and insult others because they have the luxury of anonymity. I'm glad I let my subscription lapse, and I don't miss it even a little.

Phydeaux wrote:
Also, don't call me fine, upstanding person, crackerjack. You sound stick fiddling ridiculous.

That's the best part of your post.
I am really digging CoD4, and hopefully future installments. I find its a lot more fun to play M than SP, since the SP experience in so many games is so... short... lately.
Footage of the asshat found by my crack team of Outsiders:


In other news, my Outsiders know how to use Google.
"Your" Outsiders?
Yeah, my Outsiders. My occasional personal army?

We've been through this.
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I'm a fine, upstanding person, apparently.